Sunday, January 30, 2011

Size 16 no more:)

I'll admit, I've been lax with my new fitness regime. Honestly though, it's been crazy. However, I have been doing little things like, downsizing Mt Dew (not a drop today, thank you very much), resisting the call of curly fries, and drinking more water.  I have yet to actually set aside time (haha) to get my heart pumping. In fact the only exercise I've been getting is completely gutting out my house. The realtor is coming this week to take pictures and I'm sure you can only imagine how much... stuff has accumulated within the confines and backyard of our house in ten years with four to six kids. I am happy to report that my garage has never been so clean (six forty-five gallon garbage bags later) and as soon as I hit "publish post", I'm going to get down with my buddy, Rodney Yee. But on to my good news, today when I put on my size sixteens (AKA fat pants) they weren't as snug as they usually are.  YAY!!! Progress with little effort. As tempted as I am to jump on the scale, I'm resisting the urge. I will not become obsessed with numbers, aside from the ones on my pants. I'm only working one day this week and my focus will be to get in my thirty minute workouts.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Cruddiest weekend in a long time

Ready for take two of my get healthy journey, I was on my way to work Friday when a completely unexpected blow came.  As I was driving over an overpass about to turn left, on my right I saw a young man facing the street but on the other side of the overpass railing, above the freeway below.  I slowed down a bit to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing but couldn't stop as slowing down caused the jerk behind me to speed up, ensuring I couldn't go too slow.  This young man didn't look upset he simply looked like he was playing on a big toy at the park which made me thing he was special needs. I called 911 as I turned left to go to work, described what he was wearing what I thought and specifically where he was and hung up. Moments later when I got to work, I heard the distant wails of fire engines, stopped for a moment but went into my building as I was running late.

Soon I heard people talking about some accident on the freeway and traffic being horrible.  I found out there was a fatality.  The boy fell and died. The same boy I saw moments before the accident while cars were zooming passed and a pedestrian was walking by... Being a nurse I'm sure you can imagine there are few things that can rip my emotional brick walls down. That did.  My bosses took me into their office and let me "get it out." They said things like, "There was nothing you can do." "Imagine if you did get to him and he fell in front of you." It's not that that bothered me. It was the simple fact that there was a young man, standing on the other side of the freeway overpass and no cars were stopped. The headlines read "Freeways open up after 3 hour delay" with no hint that it was a 14-year-old boy until the last paragraph. Even two days later, no mention is made of his family. Yesterday on my way to work, I took a different freeway exit but felt incredibly nauseous when I drove under that overpass.

My reason for writing this is I need to let it go. I need to accept the fact that I may never know who this young man was, what drove him to climb to where he was, and whether or not he was special needs. His expression, that same "in my own world" expression that quite often on my own daughters face will forever be in my mind somewhere.

At work I was able to rebuild my walls, finish my shift (quite a blur it was), and have a good breakdown later.  But fortunately that same day, a supervisor was leaving and there was an impromtu potluck. This was my first plate.
A multi-ethnic smorgasbord of epic proportions. I had two plates like this, some tiramisu, and copious amounts of mt dew. It's amazing how much food can make you feel better, albeit temporarily. So, tomorrow, again,  I will restart my goals.  That's what's great about life, there's always a reset button.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

"Mom I want a doughnut"

I'm beginning to think the doughnut obsession runs in my genes. After dropping the girls of at school I ask my son what he want's to do to which he replies, "I want a doughnut!" Sigh... So remembering the Epic Fail from yesterday I take him to get a Mighty O. If you have no idea what that is well my friend let me enlighten you.

Mighty O is a vegan doughnut shop. (Yes, I said the V word.) Although the actual Mighty O doughnut mecca in Greenlake is quite a ways away during AM traffic, I take him to our local, overpriced, I-can't-wait-'till-I'm-rich-enough-to-shop-here organic store to get a Mighty O.  Let me explain something about these beauties-my favorite in particular. It's like having your own personal round bit of moist chocolate cake, but dense enough so you don't get crumbs all over covered in a tangy raspberry glaze. I was envisioning devouring each morsel by the time I got from the self-checkout to the beast. But alas, fate can be cruel and there were no chocolate raspberry doughnuts but only cocoanut chocolate or chocolate glazed. Feeling dejected, I followed my sons example and snagged the chocolate squared piece of heaven.

So that along with a large diet coke light ice from McD's was my breakfast. I had every intention of eating a high protein fiber breakfast but I kinda hoarked out on leftover roasted potatoes and cow roast last night at 0100 since I didn't get home till 2330 and Campbells soup just doesn't tie this girl over. It is now 2216 and I am happy to report I haven't had one drop of Mt Dew, AND I biked 4 minutes (okay 2 minutes but it was uphill) to my neighbors to try and figure out our Girl Scout troop finances. And yes, we are selling cookies.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Epic Fail

Yesterday I was looking forward to something all week. It didn't happen and was put off for who knows how long. So what did I do? Run off to Safeway and bought one of these beauties...

I'm salivating just looking at the box. Sadly this was not my actual box, I only bought a bismark.  If you have no clue what that is, then shame on you. It's the perfect blend of doughnut, gooey cream filling, all topped off with a lovely chocolate glaze. (insert Homer soundbite here.) And to top it off, I bought my regular sized Mt. Dew (thank you very much) and a $2 lotto ticket-still didn't win. Regardless, I was riding my sugary high with no regret or thought about the new lifestyle of health and fitness that I wanted to embark on. Then, after about an hour... it was over.

Having every intent of doing a half hour of yoga or at the very least walk the dog that night, I did neither and now the morning after am feeling horrible.  I unintentionally skipped breakfast (woke up very late) only to find we were completely out of milk and ran of to rectify the situation. I did however buy bottled water (yuk) instead of my coveted Mt Dew and fully intend on packing a lunch for work instead of relying on the mecca that is Jack in the Box, and may I have enough energy and motivation to at least walk my now overweight dog when I get home.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Gem State killed my bike

Not wanting this mornings posts to go to waste I dusted off my helmet, layered up, tucked one leg into my futbol socks, go to pull my bike down from the garage only to find... a flat.  Irritation immediately sets in. After closer inspection I discover a bur-like thing stuck between two treads of the back tire.  Sigh.

Back in August, I invested in a bike rack for the beast so we could take advantage of the completely FLAT terrain of South Central Idaho. As fun as it was never to shift gears or do the butt-in-the-air pump, it came with a price. Five, yes FIVE flat tires on 3 different bikes. The girls had them in both front and back tires which was understandable as they were riding in the dirt field across from my parents house. But me? All I did was get up early and ride along the Snake River Canyon (which is pretty flippin' cool if you get the chance-cow smell aside and all). Needless to say I am now an experienced tube changer.

But hey, now I am really experienced and feel much better that I forced myself to get out for a whopping 45 minutes no less. For the record, the only Mt. Dew I've had today was the smallest fountain size (it was much harder to get than I expected) and I've actually had a couple glasses of water which for me is a milestone, albeit a small one.

The picture that started it all

is this one...

See that? I really don't have two sets of boobs. Yes I realize I'm slouched over in attempt to get closer with my dear friend who posted this as her facebook profile pic.  I'll admit at first I thought "WTF are you thinking!!!" But then, knowing her, she just saw two friends at Christmas time who both recently had the blessing of glasses added to their accessories list. So I left a comment about how smart we both look and left it as that. I hope in reading this she doesn't think I'm bashing her choice of photo in anyway, I'm actually thanking her for the motivation to try and make time and get rid of my second set of boobs which also happen to wrap around my back.

Another one?

Yes another one.  I've had so many blogs in the past. One for personal, one for rants, one for vegan recipes (only 2 posts- record number there), and yes even one for weight loss. My intent was to have weekly weigh ins, calculate calories, record what I ate etc but lets face it. I'm too busy for all that. I'm a working nurse with four children, the youngest who is special needs, and in the process of relocating to another state to boot. When I say I'm busy, I'm actually busy. My downtime consists of 10 minutes to check out facebook before I pass out when I get home from work around midnight only to get up at 0700 the next morning to get my middle schooler off to school. If I don't work, I'm having a very reluctant affair with something named dirty laundry.

I hope you wont misconstrue what I'm saying as an I-wish-I-had-no-kids-so-I-had-all-the-time-in-the-world-to-work-out rant. No. I've never been a workoutaholic. I played sports as a teenager, I didn't have a car and bussed/walked it all over Seattle in my late teens/early twenties, and now... well, now I'm in my early thirties and an appetite for the finer, sweeter, greasier, things of life is quickly overpowering my metabolism, not-to-mention, my lack of free time doesn't help. I hope to convey the message of "If she can get healthier, I can."

I'm going to be realistic. I'm not going to starve myself in a futile attempt to get back to the 130 I was in high school.  In fact, I'm not even going to weigh myself. I hate weighing myself. I'm going to try and find an approach that's reachable and that wont drive me crazy. Food has become my addiction. No one can deny the instant gratification I find, ripping my teeth into a still hot loaf of French bread on the way home from the store or the  unique blend of greasy curly fries and ranch dressing. If you're familiar at all with narcotics anonymous you'll know the saying "One Day At A Time" which is what I'll have to do, take it all one day at a time.